You'd like me better if I had cancer

I saw funny people. How fucking long was that movie? I don't care. I liked it. Although I did cry for most of the film....

Am I just fucking cursed or something? It's like, everyone I get along with moves. Megan, Cherish, Casey, Prudence, Delani, Carson, Matt. People I never fucking fight with. But the people I can barely stand stick around. And I can only barley stand them because they're all I have left so I let them treat me however they want. Then the other people who haven't completely left me live so far away from me that I can't even talk to them when I want to. Peter and Kadie. They're the only people I really feel like being around most of the time.

I hate everyone around me. It's insane.

It's not even that i hate most of them, they make me hate them. It's like they strive to give me reasons. Then when they realize I don't fight back when they treat me like shit they find a different reason to be mad at me, and it makes no fucking sense.

I want to disappear, and I'm sure if I did no one would notice or care.

I wish someone did care.But it's never going to happen.

I'm always the person people come to. I'm the person who can shut her fucking mouth and focus on everyone else's problems. I can put all of my shit away and say the right things and be there for whoever whenever.

But where the fuck is my person?

I wish for once I had someone like that. There are people I go to, but I feel like a burden, or they quick fix it, or they drag there shit in too.

For once I want someone to focus on me and not blow it off. I really want someone to just give a shit for longer then ten minutes. I don't want a bullshit lecture, or a speech on how they would fix it. I want someone to listen. To fucking comprehend. To leave there shit alone and pay attention to me. I need someone to actually try to find an answer that makes sense, and not just stop there.

But I guess that's asking way to fucking much.